Today I worked with a woman who for more than 12 years has struggled with a fear of flying on planes or travelling on the tube. There have been three sessions and during these lots of useful exploration has happened through NLP techniques and some hypnosis and that meant that this intelligent, creative lady felt a lot better about her fear, but nonetheless didn’t think it was finally overcome.
Being a helper I was disappointed and wanted to find a way to completely have this problem done and finished with.
But then I did some checking and asked how she liked to make decisions in certain contexts, first at work, then when buying something. Doing this uncovered that she’s the kind of person who will consider how something is going to be used or enjoyed quite deeply. Not for her the snap ‘let’s do it’ moment. So this gave some more to go on for us both.
After a while she realised that there would need to be some give and take with that part of her that wanted all things to be in her control or at lest shaped by her.
Now without breaking any client confidences her life at this time is in transition big time and a large percentage of it is not going to be shaped by her. This clarification gave her huge insights into why she ’suddenly’ gets the feeling that she’s trapped and suffers fear of travelling on a tube. The feeling is most probably a part of her that is bubbling along just under the surface of everyday life whilst she is negotiating or not through her new-style life that is demanding a completely different set of responses from her. Some that she’s not developed or used for a long time.
At that point I wanted to do some more work, but her busy schedule meant she had to dash off.

So we had to settle for her committing to ‘listening in’ to that part of her that starts complaining about the stuff that she’s giving up, or that is outside of her control or that she’s having to give in to. By doing so she’ll be learning how this part takes her into an internal web of thoughts that spiral on and on until she gets down those steps to the underground and goes bamm!
Her plan of action is to write down problems that are bothering her, so they get out of her head, or find a friend to chill out with and compare notes.
You can do the same when your thoughts are all the company you’re keeping.