A few weeks ago I worked with a client who said she felt ‘Riddled with Fear and Stress.’ She was a Mum to three young children and ran her own successful business.
She described her anxiety and how it took her an age to make even the smallest decision, that her head was full of woe and these feelings were with her from the moment she woke up to the moment she finally managed to fall asleep.

Mental Trap of Fear
It is easy to get into the habit of expecting the worst and to just assume the ’survival mode’.
I haven’t conducted a scientific survey but I suspect that more women than men suffer from this kind of low level but seemingly permanent sense of dread.
During our first session we worked mainly on relaxation techniques that she could use on her own. I also suggested to her that she make friends with the fear that she dreaded.

Make Friends with the Enemy?
At first my client refused point blank, complaining that she’d come to me to banish her fear. However after some coaching and further discussion I persuaded her to give this fear feeling a pet-name and to welcome it and even ask what it wanted.

The reason I was doing this was to help her learn to trust her feelings rather than just get stuck in them and feel inadequate as a result.

You see fear is a necessary emotion for survival. It helps us pay attention to what’s going on, to check whether we are safe and whether we need to take immediate action.

Once my client got the hang of this her fear feelings became a chance for her to look at the detail of a situation, or research some background information for up an coming meeting she had.

The more she began to associate the fear feeling as a cue to research, prepare or consider her actions the more confident she felt.

The other techniques we worked on such as breathing to slow down busy thoughts also helped.
She phoned the other day to say she’d never felt better and less fearful in her life.
So you see you can use fear as a powerful force to drive you through live. Over to you - what do you think?